Tuesday, January 12
Speechless towards her.
Cass , don't worry Im not saying you.
Well, I meet people miscarriage and still living a happy life,
but I've never heard or seen someone like that.
Just because she has met a miscarriage 1 month ago ,
she told people she doesn't want to comment and
also don't want to know because of her miscarriage
& she's upset that people around her are getting pregnant
but not her.
I doesn't mean to be so straight forward here ,
but seriously , is getting pregnant such a big thing !?
Maybe yes , but think about it . It doesn't mean
once u miscarriage you must replace one.
I know the pain and lost of your own child ,
nobody wants too, but since it's already lost.
Then it's already too late to say anything.
I don't understand why must really have a kid
after getting marry , does it means really marriage
means A KID NEEDED TO BE BORN?!
Seriously no money no talk. Don't ever think that
marry a rich husband means you'll call for wind
and rain whenever you wants . Cause it's impossible.
Yes , I agree on young marriages but doesn't mean
I agree on most young parents . Cause when your
thinking is not even to the extend of being mature,
and really save what you earn for future and kids,
you're not ready & not prepared.
I've a ex colleague Coco , she earns and save at the same time
together with her boyf that's what I called ready even
thou their status is still boyf & girlf.
But she really spend times , take care
and even save for her kids together with her boyf.
But not get pay today spend it all by the next 2 weeks.
Is miscarriage really such a big thing? No I doubt so,
cause in the whole wide world you're not the only one.
I don't see why must it be such a big woo-ha.
Yes, maybe you'll think I don't understand the pain.
But you'll never ever understand a pain of a kid
born in a family w/o happiness or even a broken family.
I went through the pain , I walked through all these.
You'll never understand the meaning of being a
single parents child and never never understand
your kids feeling when people laughing at them.
And seeing people's family with that kind of envy.
If you think it's you then it's you. Cause it's very obvious.
Mrs. Geek ended @ 1:39 PM
Im feeling troubled.
Im feeling trouble due to reasons I don't know.
I just feels like bursting into big tears,
isit school that's abit tiring and stress?
I doubt so , cause it's only the starting
of school & it should be fun instead .
Isit not enough of sleeps ? I think I had enough today.
But I still seems so troubled . Just now
while hiding inside the toilet wanting
to cry out , I was at a moment of
my own , feeling everything around me
seems to stop and even the clock has
stop ticking .
I thought to the moment I saw mummy
crying to the web-cam telling me that
someone is giving her the feeling of she's useless.
I suddenly thought through alot of past,
I want to start tearing , I don't know
what to do. I still cannot let the past off.
It seems so impossible.
I thought I have let go of it 1 year back ,
but I was wrong super wrong , cause
I didn't forget at all , it was just left in
a corner in my heart, kept some where behind
all doors & hidden behind my heart.
Maybe I cannot be compared
to anyone worst than me , but I really
never thought things like that would happened .
I never wanted to lose anything just like that.
But I don't have any choice to make.
Looking into the photos of me as a kid ,
tears just couldn't stop falling . As I can see that
smile is so true so real.
See that photo of us taken with you.
I really miss you alot, but everything
is too late to say. You left for another woman ,
you hurt everyone's heart in our family.
& you never return at all .
I still felt the scar , I still felt it as fresh as
it was . Time couldn't heal , even when I tried.
After all I believe but wish it was just a dream.
Where I know it's impossible cause it's
reality.
Mrs. Geek ended @ 12:46 AM
Gotten home from class.
It's super duper fun in class today, everyone
gets their dummy head and started ,
discussing how disgust it was .
Haha , after that class start , & 9.45pm
our class ended, first thing was , PICK UP MY PHONE.
Message from a number of people,
even missed called . So I faster called
back and replied . After that Michael Tung,
came to fetch me home cause Im carrying
hell lot of things and those idiotic car was
like squeezing into a super small parking lot.
*curse & swear*
Haha , so after he fetch me home , here I am to blog
after my dinner & desert ;D.
Okay , I can't seems to wait ! Im meeting Felicia at Orchard
again on Wednesday , cause Im shopping for CNY's clothes.
The mood is here , cause everything is in RED colour.
Haha, how fast time flies. It's already the 12th of Jan,
my class has already started 4 lesson out of 60 lesson.
Haha.
Im excited for CNY clothes . Can't wait , cotton on for pyjamas
& undergarments . Hula & co. for dresses or
Far east, I shall decide since it's gonna be wearing black
this year. Hehe ;P my favorite colour .
Anw, I've came across my bf's colleague's FB profile.
Sad to say he's dad just passed away during the
first week of Jan , he wrote this to he's dad.
" 爸...遥远的你还好吗？我好想你！不管我们相隔多远，你会永远的活在我心里面，
我也知道...你会一直这样默默的守护着我 . "
Never fail after reading these, my tears roll down my eyes.
Well , what I can say is , when a person must leave he needs to leave.
So really cherish and love the person when they are around.
Especially whenever you did something wrong,
but they are the one that didn't give up hopes on you .
I use to don't understand family love, but getting mature
age by age, I really understand the meaning of loving your
family, and blood is always thicker than water.
Cause if they weren't here I won't be here.
People won't be reading my blog , this world won't have
Anabelle this gal . Maybe Im still in heaven waiting
for my turn here in this world .
Alan told me , don't compare anymore with each
other's family . Don't compare yourself with
anyone, cause you'll never find another you
any where in this world. Same name , and stuff.
But there'll never be the same person
same character same personality .
Cause there's only one you.
I really thought through alot ,
I don't want to waste another min on
hating anyone in this world , but I know
I can't love everybody cause some
really doesn't deserve my love
and doesn't appreciate my love.
Happiness is within your hands but how you see it.
;D So treasure everyone around you before it's
too late, cause you're their beloved too.
Mrs. Geek ended @ 12:11 AM
